Oh god I am delirious….
I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe.
blasian-aesthetics drizzy can u do this ok thanks sirI’m ready
I was not ready
Omg I’m still not ready
Yes I can^^^
When your side chick tries to take a picture with you…
One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab.
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
Date the waitress.
Unknown (via psych-facts)
There is a very very large difference between Tumblr internet humor and actual humor
And it becomes obvious every time you try to tell a joke in real life.
No caption needed